It's nice to turn the tables and have a laugh

For everyone who has ever been annoyed by tele-marketers who call at suppertime.
Father Joseph L. Di Gregorio

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of
you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call
from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as
irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something
like this:

Me: Hello
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
Me: Is this AT&T?
AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
Me: May I ask who is calling?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
Me: OK, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise, when
I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

Me: Hello?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
Me: May I ask who is calling please?
AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
Me: This is AT&T?
AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: The phone company?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
Me: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can
express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this
lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a
minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time
to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
that's right! 24 hours a day!
Me: 7 days a week?
AT&T: That's right.
Me: 365 days a year?
AT&T: Yes sir.
Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
Me: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.

Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one
at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?
Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about?
Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7
days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and
$52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
payment.

AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10
cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give
me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind
of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this
in the Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on
me.

AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
AT&T: What?
Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.

So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin
to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and
while I have a mouth full of food:

Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
Me: Yes?
Supervisor: I understand you do not quite understand our 10
cents a minute program.
Me: Is this AT&T?
Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me
so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person
who was helping you.
Me: Thank you.

Suddenly, there was an irritated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in
signing up for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never
have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have
a little brother...
AT&T: (click)